It is hard to be a foreigner in a place full of foreigners. I don't think that I am explaining this well. Let's try this a different way. In school, people knew me. That's not meant to be conceited or anything. As a large quasi-outgoing black guy in a mostly white Baptist University, people notice you and talk to you. After that, though, I never seemed to have any friends, (in relation to the amount of people that I knew). I only had 3 or so people that I could call up and say, "Hey, let's hang out." I didn't really think much of it. I just thought that I was really busy or something and didn't have enough time to hang out with tons of people. Well now, fast-forward a year or two and now I'm in China. Yet, the same situation is arising, not only within the students, but among the staff. So, I have to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? The only commonality in these two situations is me. Now, this is not a self-defacating post. I am just wondering. It's not like I am super busy. I have the time to hang out with people who are doing stuff. I feel a little awkward inviting myself along on things that I have no business doing. I wouldn't mind hanging out though. Do I smell a little bit? Am I too slow? Too loud? I'm not sure. But these questions do arise in my head. I really wish someone would just be like, "Dude, we don't like you because..." It would make things a lot easier. Much less awkward. Then I wouldn't be sitting here, throwing myself into miscellaneous hobbies (guitar, photography, movie-making, blogging).
On another note, California is looking better and better. I haven't heard from her in a long time so I'm not planning to see what she does, if I ever was. But I can see myself there. It just feels like a place that I should be. I don't really know what it is right now that is drawing me there. I just feel like everything will be alright if I happened to be in California.
I think that it is about time to start job searching and preparing to apply to law schools. I have been putting it off but I think that with the economy the way it is and my life where it is, I need to start putting plans into action.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
It's been a while
Okay, let me sit down and write this novel. I hope that I can organize my thoughts in such a way that allow me to convey the awesomeness of the past 3 weeks to you and say everything that I wanted to say all in one post.
Okay, so my first thought goes to my camera, or lack thereof. My camera that I have had for a very long time has pretty much seen it’s last days. Pieces of it are falling off everyday. The whole thing is being held together by tape so that I can still take some photos. Now, no...it is not hard to find cameras in China. They are kind of everywhere. The problem that you run into is whether the cameras that you are looking at are real or not. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I was just getting a crappy camera to hold me over until I get back to the states. Sadly, I want a real camera. I want the Nikon D5000. I know what you’re thinking, “don’t they make those around there somewhere?” The answer is yes, they do. But I, once again, don’t want to pay 5000 Yuan or so for something that is fake. It comes to about $750 or so. Plus with me not making a ton of money here in China, it makes things a little more difficult. I had found one in Atlanta for a good price before I left but I was convinced by outside parties that I could find it cheaper here. At any rate, now I don’t really have a camera to take photos with so I’ve been having to steal other people’s photos.
It turns out that the program that I work for, TIP, is making a little commercial or some short little film. Well, I volunteered to head up the project and do lots of the filming for them. This is super exciting because it is my first real foray into filmmaking. They game me a real camera that seems kind of expensive. I have been setting up shots and all kinds of things like that. So much fun. I have also been using the camera to film some of my own things which is kind of exciting too. I ran into a little problem at the beginning. In order to get the footage off of the camera and on to your computer, you have to use a cord that has FIreWire 400 on it. Well, Apple stopped making computers with FireWire 400. They only use 800 now so I have to go buy a converter cable. Haha, one thing about Apple, they know how to make money.
A few months ago my guitar got stolen out of my car. This was painful, very painful indeed, but I knew that I would get another one. The discussion was whether to get another one in the states and then bring it to China or just to get one in China. I was thinking that the next guitar that I got was going to be a Taylor, because I really am in LOVE with their guitars, and with that I knew that I did not want to bring it to China. Plus, it would just add to the things that I had to carry, no fun. Well, a week or two ago, I did end up buying one with some of the money that we got for the last session. It has been one of the best purchases that I have made here in China. When I’m down, bored, or just feeling creative, I just pick up my guitar and start going to town. In addition to that, one of my friends here songs, and we’ve decided that we will play at one of the open mic nights here in the city. As a large group person I actually have a lot of time to do a lot of things and since I don’t always like getting dressed and leaving my room, I just pick up the guitar. Turns out that item number 89 on my bucket list is to learn Jazz guitar, so with my random amounts of free time, I have been trying to learn Jazz and Blues guitar. I am working on progressions, scales, and soloing. Hopefully by the end of this year I will be good enough to share with others.
Last Wednesday I received a letter from my best friend, Kris, that pretty much lifted my spirit for the whole week. After that, nothing phased me it was very happy. She just told me about her life back in Macon and that she missed me. Of course, it was funnier to her and I. But it was still great to hear from her via snail mail.
Following that fantastic letter from Kris came one of the best no, the best, care package that I have ever received. It took her forever, but mom finally managed to get a super sweet care package into the mail to me. She sent me tons of snack food that I hope will last me for a pretty long time. I have already done an inventory of what I have and I think that I can stretch it for a while. She sent things like Skittles, starburst, goldfish(yum), clif bars, my mouse and hard drive (hallelujah), oatmeal, and gummy bears. Sadly, the gummy bears are not the ones that I asked for but I will not fault her for it. Oh, she also included a pack of Nutter Butters that I kind of finished off within the first two days. A little taste of home goes a long way. I’ve been learning to cook. I plan to go buy my own skillet, cutting board, and knife with some of the money from my next paycheck. Not that they don’t already have that stuff, it’s just VERY gross looking. So, I prefer to use my own. I’m finding that the less American stuff you try to do or use, the further your money will go. Package from mom
Well, it’s been about 7 weeks in China. I am not positive on that statement, mind you, but I think. My Chinese is improving steadily, I think. Others say that I am doing very well, but I feel that I am a tad more critical about my skills than they are. I am able to order food, give directions, menial greetings and some commands. I can also have short conversations complete with short sentences. To my credit, I can at least form complete sentences. I am working now on more complex grammar and sentence structure, understanding the different tones of native speakers and thinking in Chinese. Perhaps I am moving too fast, I am not sure. All I know is that if I want to make my Chinese deadline of Early January, I have to do more than what I am doing. It is a very difficult language at first, but I think that it gets better with time. The hardest part is just remembering what you want to say. It is easy to mimmic someone else, but then pulling that out of a store in your brain lends to many problems. I am also getting better at recognizing characters and writing characters in Chinese. Yes, that is an ENTIRELY different lesson altogether. It is not like you just learn the words and tones and then you can read and write. No, you learn the tones and words. Then, in a completely separate occurrence you learn the Characters and how to read them and maybe write them.
This session, I was a large group facilitator. Large group is one of the most fun things ever. You feel like a rockstar, in front of 160+ students. You don’t make the same connections that the small group facilitators make and sometimes that makes me kind of jealous. Chinese people are really interesting and have lots to say if you are willing to listen and be patient with them. Anyway, in large group, I go over famous speeches, fairy tales, and a morning motivational. I think that my favourite has got to be the morning motivational because it’s a pretty positive message and usually gives the students something big to think about for the day. I got “promoted” to both large group manager and supplies manager too. They don’t really mean anything, nor do they do anything extra, nor do they get paid more. I just figured that it would look good on a resume sometime in the future. So, I take the position with joy...maybe.
Okay, so every time lunch and dinner roll around, I get very sad. There is a cafeteria on campus that honestly, is not very good. They cook the SAME thing every single day. I mean the exact same thing. No, it does not change from session to session. This cafeteria cooks the same food now that they did when I first got here. It is pretty dreadful and I’m over it. Not to mention we are required to go to lunch and dinner. I am okay with going to them. I just don’t really want to eat or spend money on anything that they have there. I don’t know if I’m getting this point across well enough. It’s not that it’s Chinese food. I like Chinese food. It is what they prepare and how they prepare it. For a solid week, I only ate 2 sticks of meat a day because I was tired of the rest of the food and didn’t really want to leave the campus. :(
Here we go, it is the last day or so of the session and the students are now able to speak Chinese. The quiet students have erupted. It is very nearly impossible to get them to stop. They are all so eager to get back at the facilitators for them not being able to speak Chinese for 20 days and they want to teach us everything. It sounds good but it’s not. It is nearly impossible to learn anything while 35+ teachers are all screaming at you to repeat after them. It is a funny change to the environmental dynamic. On the other side, I ran into an anomaly today, a person who did not really want to speak Chinese. She said that it felt weird now. She, however, is a pretty good English speaker and communicates very effectively in either language.
Sadly, it’s that time of year again. The season is changing and I am getting sick again. It happens every year so I don’t know why I am surprised. There is always about a 5-8 day adaptive period where I figure out which combinations for medicines will work this time around. I have not yet figured out the combination for this one. I hope that I can be well soon. I know that I have things that I want to do and I do not want to be sick for them.
Okay, so my first thought goes to my camera, or lack thereof. My camera that I have had for a very long time has pretty much seen it’s last days. Pieces of it are falling off everyday. The whole thing is being held together by tape so that I can still take some photos. Now, no...it is not hard to find cameras in China. They are kind of everywhere. The problem that you run into is whether the cameras that you are looking at are real or not. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I was just getting a crappy camera to hold me over until I get back to the states. Sadly, I want a real camera. I want the Nikon D5000. I know what you’re thinking, “don’t they make those around there somewhere?” The answer is yes, they do. But I, once again, don’t want to pay 5000 Yuan or so for something that is fake. It comes to about $750 or so. Plus with me not making a ton of money here in China, it makes things a little more difficult. I had found one in Atlanta for a good price before I left but I was convinced by outside parties that I could find it cheaper here. At any rate, now I don’t really have a camera to take photos with so I’ve been having to steal other people’s photos.
It turns out that the program that I work for, TIP, is making a little commercial or some short little film. Well, I volunteered to head up the project and do lots of the filming for them. This is super exciting because it is my first real foray into filmmaking. They game me a real camera that seems kind of expensive. I have been setting up shots and all kinds of things like that. So much fun. I have also been using the camera to film some of my own things which is kind of exciting too. I ran into a little problem at the beginning. In order to get the footage off of the camera and on to your computer, you have to use a cord that has FIreWire 400 on it. Well, Apple stopped making computers with FireWire 400. They only use 800 now so I have to go buy a converter cable. Haha, one thing about Apple, they know how to make money.
A few months ago my guitar got stolen out of my car. This was painful, very painful indeed, but I knew that I would get another one. The discussion was whether to get another one in the states and then bring it to China or just to get one in China. I was thinking that the next guitar that I got was going to be a Taylor, because I really am in LOVE with their guitars, and with that I knew that I did not want to bring it to China. Plus, it would just add to the things that I had to carry, no fun. Well, a week or two ago, I did end up buying one with some of the money that we got for the last session. It has been one of the best purchases that I have made here in China. When I’m down, bored, or just feeling creative, I just pick up my guitar and start going to town. In addition to that, one of my friends here songs, and we’ve decided that we will play at one of the open mic nights here in the city. As a large group person I actually have a lot of time to do a lot of things and since I don’t always like getting dressed and leaving my room, I just pick up the guitar. Turns out that item number 89 on my bucket list is to learn Jazz guitar, so with my random amounts of free time, I have been trying to learn Jazz and Blues guitar. I am working on progressions, scales, and soloing. Hopefully by the end of this year I will be good enough to share with others.
Last Wednesday I received a letter from my best friend, Kris, that pretty much lifted my spirit for the whole week. After that, nothing phased me it was very happy. She just told me about her life back in Macon and that she missed me. Of course, it was funnier to her and I. But it was still great to hear from her via snail mail.
Following that fantastic letter from Kris came one of the best no, the best, care package that I have ever received. It took her forever, but mom finally managed to get a super sweet care package into the mail to me. She sent me tons of snack food that I hope will last me for a pretty long time. I have already done an inventory of what I have and I think that I can stretch it for a while. She sent things like Skittles, starburst, goldfish(yum), clif bars, my mouse and hard drive (hallelujah), oatmeal, and gummy bears. Sadly, the gummy bears are not the ones that I asked for but I will not fault her for it. Oh, she also included a pack of Nutter Butters that I kind of finished off within the first two days. A little taste of home goes a long way. I’ve been learning to cook. I plan to go buy my own skillet, cutting board, and knife with some of the money from my next paycheck. Not that they don’t already have that stuff, it’s just VERY gross looking. So, I prefer to use my own. I’m finding that the less American stuff you try to do or use, the further your money will go. Package from mom
Well, it’s been about 7 weeks in China. I am not positive on that statement, mind you, but I think. My Chinese is improving steadily, I think. Others say that I am doing very well, but I feel that I am a tad more critical about my skills than they are. I am able to order food, give directions, menial greetings and some commands. I can also have short conversations complete with short sentences. To my credit, I can at least form complete sentences. I am working now on more complex grammar and sentence structure, understanding the different tones of native speakers and thinking in Chinese. Perhaps I am moving too fast, I am not sure. All I know is that if I want to make my Chinese deadline of Early January, I have to do more than what I am doing. It is a very difficult language at first, but I think that it gets better with time. The hardest part is just remembering what you want to say. It is easy to mimmic someone else, but then pulling that out of a store in your brain lends to many problems. I am also getting better at recognizing characters and writing characters in Chinese. Yes, that is an ENTIRELY different lesson altogether. It is not like you just learn the words and tones and then you can read and write. No, you learn the tones and words. Then, in a completely separate occurrence you learn the Characters and how to read them and maybe write them.
This session, I was a large group facilitator. Large group is one of the most fun things ever. You feel like a rockstar, in front of 160+ students. You don’t make the same connections that the small group facilitators make and sometimes that makes me kind of jealous. Chinese people are really interesting and have lots to say if you are willing to listen and be patient with them. Anyway, in large group, I go over famous speeches, fairy tales, and a morning motivational. I think that my favourite has got to be the morning motivational because it’s a pretty positive message and usually gives the students something big to think about for the day. I got “promoted” to both large group manager and supplies manager too. They don’t really mean anything, nor do they do anything extra, nor do they get paid more. I just figured that it would look good on a resume sometime in the future. So, I take the position with joy...maybe.
Okay, so every time lunch and dinner roll around, I get very sad. There is a cafeteria on campus that honestly, is not very good. They cook the SAME thing every single day. I mean the exact same thing. No, it does not change from session to session. This cafeteria cooks the same food now that they did when I first got here. It is pretty dreadful and I’m over it. Not to mention we are required to go to lunch and dinner. I am okay with going to them. I just don’t really want to eat or spend money on anything that they have there. I don’t know if I’m getting this point across well enough. It’s not that it’s Chinese food. I like Chinese food. It is what they prepare and how they prepare it. For a solid week, I only ate 2 sticks of meat a day because I was tired of the rest of the food and didn’t really want to leave the campus. :(
Here we go, it is the last day or so of the session and the students are now able to speak Chinese. The quiet students have erupted. It is very nearly impossible to get them to stop. They are all so eager to get back at the facilitators for them not being able to speak Chinese for 20 days and they want to teach us everything. It sounds good but it’s not. It is nearly impossible to learn anything while 35+ teachers are all screaming at you to repeat after them. It is a funny change to the environmental dynamic. On the other side, I ran into an anomaly today, a person who did not really want to speak Chinese. She said that it felt weird now. She, however, is a pretty good English speaker and communicates very effectively in either language.
Sadly, it’s that time of year again. The season is changing and I am getting sick again. It happens every year so I don’t know why I am surprised. There is always about a 5-8 day adaptive period where I figure out which combinations for medicines will work this time around. I have not yet figured out the combination for this one. I hope that I can be well soon. I know that I have things that I want to do and I do not want to be sick for them.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Downs and Ups
So, the most recent adventure was my day today. It's been a combination of ups and downs. Well actually downs and ups. It started off with me being woken up this morning by my air conditioning unit dripping water on me and my bed. That is one of the most unpleasant ways to wake up - f.y.i. Then, after I got the building manager and tried to explain what happened, I tried to go back to sleep because I was in the middle of this sweet dream where I was a spy. :) I don't remember all of it but I know that part happened. My roommate and I ended up over-sleeping for the plans that we had made with our group which was unfortunate. (Two days prior, we all decided that we hadn't been doing enough during our break and we should finish off the things that we want to do in Beijing so that we can travel during our other breaks. So we planned to go to the Forbidden City, Ming tombs, and the Great wall on Tues, Thurs, and Fri, respectively.) Well we meant to leave by 10 but because of my roommate and I oversleeping, we didn't leave until 11:30. But, it all started going up from there. We ventured out to the ATM to get some cash for our adventure and this song came on my ipod that made me think of someone fantastic.
The song is "Dreamgirl" by Dave Matthews Band. The first couple of lines were what got me thinking about it because of the China reference. After that it just kept getting better. To get to the Forbidden city we had to be on the subway for about 50 minutes and somehow we all managed to get seats as soon as we got on (that usually does not happen). We then spent about 6 or 7 hours wandering around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, which was AMAZING. I got so many cool photos. (I've been really getting into the "art of photography" - using juxtaposition, aperture, different lighting and angles to get great pictures - and the colors here in China are just great. I've been using my friends as models for me.) Plus you really feel like you are IN Chinese history when you're walking around where Emperors walked so long ago. It was great to just be able to relax for a bit and take in the sights, sounds, textures, and colors of the City.
After we left the city, (it closes at 5) we hung out in the square until the guard came out for the flag lowering ceremony. I must say that it is one of the most perfectly timed things that I have ever seen in my life. It was very interesting to watch.
The song is "Dreamgirl" by Dave Matthews Band. The first couple of lines were what got me thinking about it because of the China reference. After that it just kept getting better. To get to the Forbidden city we had to be on the subway for about 50 minutes and somehow we all managed to get seats as soon as we got on (that usually does not happen). We then spent about 6 or 7 hours wandering around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, which was AMAZING. I got so many cool photos. (I've been really getting into the "art of photography" - using juxtaposition, aperture, different lighting and angles to get great pictures - and the colors here in China are just great. I've been using my friends as models for me.) Plus you really feel like you are IN Chinese history when you're walking around where Emperors walked so long ago. It was great to just be able to relax for a bit and take in the sights, sounds, textures, and colors of the City.
After we left the city, (it closes at 5) we hung out in the square until the guard came out for the flag lowering ceremony. I must say that it is one of the most perfectly timed things that I have ever seen in my life. It was very interesting to watch.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Ramblings
So, we kind of don’t have anything to do. I would love to update something interesting like, we went to the outskirts of China and saw the massive rice patties or hiked one of the crazy mountains that they have here. Sadly, I cannot. We sit around our apartments all day. Today I did not even wake up until 1:30 PM. I worked out, ran in the park, made some lists, and then listened to music and watched movies. This feels like a monster waste of opportunity, right? Yes, I think so too. I just don’t really know what else to do. I think that we have exhausted our Touristy options and my Mandarin is not sufficient enough yet to venture into the parts of Beijing where they do not speak English. So here I sit, glued to my computer.
I guess I can tell you about my next purchase. I am at a dilemma. My camera has reached its last leg and is falling quickly so I felt like it’s time to replace it with a professional (or semi-professional) camera. The only problem is that I do not know which camera I want to get. I know that I want a Nikon. There are 3 models that I wouldn’t mind having. The D40, D3000, and the D5000. Now, I’m new to the world of DSLR cameras but I have wanted a D40 for about 2.5 years now. This is mainly because all of my friends have had one and I KNOW that they take great photos. It’s what I’m used to. But, this is a time to get out of my comfort zone, is it not? So, the D3000, from what I’ve read, is like the D40 with a couple more bells and whistles and is for those who are not 100% positive on how to use aperture settings and other things of that nature. I, however, am somewhat familiar with the workings of cameras. At any rate, then there is the D5000 which is like the D40’s older, sportier cousin. I say this mainly because it comes with video capabilities and a screen that flips. Whoa now! I know, the screen flips, this makes it better for different angle-shots. New perspectives and what not. The D3000 is cheaper and still a good buy. The D40 is the one I want. However, the D5000 would be a lot of fun. Keep in mind that all of these cameras must be rigorously looked at, as I am in China...as place that is very prone to fake...everything. So, I run into the problem of which would I prefer. Not to mention which can I afford.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the day. I wonder what I’ll think of next.
I’ll leave you with this:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live” ~ J.K. Rowling
I guess I can tell you about my next purchase. I am at a dilemma. My camera has reached its last leg and is falling quickly so I felt like it’s time to replace it with a professional (or semi-professional) camera. The only problem is that I do not know which camera I want to get. I know that I want a Nikon. There are 3 models that I wouldn’t mind having. The D40, D3000, and the D5000. Now, I’m new to the world of DSLR cameras but I have wanted a D40 for about 2.5 years now. This is mainly because all of my friends have had one and I KNOW that they take great photos. It’s what I’m used to. But, this is a time to get out of my comfort zone, is it not? So, the D3000, from what I’ve read, is like the D40 with a couple more bells and whistles and is for those who are not 100% positive on how to use aperture settings and other things of that nature. I, however, am somewhat familiar with the workings of cameras. At any rate, then there is the D5000 which is like the D40’s older, sportier cousin. I say this mainly because it comes with video capabilities and a screen that flips. Whoa now! I know, the screen flips, this makes it better for different angle-shots. New perspectives and what not. The D3000 is cheaper and still a good buy. The D40 is the one I want. However, the D5000 would be a lot of fun. Keep in mind that all of these cameras must be rigorously looked at, as I am in China...as place that is very prone to fake...everything. So, I run into the problem of which would I prefer. Not to mention which can I afford.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the day. I wonder what I’ll think of next.
I’ll leave you with this:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live” ~ J.K. Rowling
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