I’m getting more and more concerned the longer that I sit here and think about my future. For some reason I feel like I do not have any viable skills that will allow me to go into the real world and make money. I talk to my friends, who are all incredibly intelligent, super hard-working, and insanely organized, and they say that it’s easy to find a job. I feel like college prepared me to do nothing. I’m good at studying languages. I can organize other people’s lives. But I can’t seem to manage my own life and keep myself from spiraling down a hole that I do not believe that I will be able to get out of.
I’ve always had this idea in my head that I would go to Law School and then go and get an MBA. Or the other way around. I really enjoy law and I enjoy thinking and even, to a certain extent, writing. But now I am haunted by thoughts of not being good enough. I am that guy that I promised I would never be. What am I to do? Who will take me? I am an average person, with an average skill-set, in a down economy. I want more than I can have and I have more than I need. But for some reason, the cycle persists. I think that I just want to go home and organize my life. I feel confused and overwhelmed here. Nothing is easy to accomplish.
It is about to become very difficult to pay my bills, because I will have to use Chinese money. This also means that I will lose a lot of the money that I make in fees. I hate losing money. I’m okay with spending money, but I hate to lose money.
Perhaps I worry too much. Or maybe I’m worrying just enough for my current situation. Who knows.
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