Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas...

Today is Christmas... What am I doing here? I have no idea what to think today.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas eve

It occurs to me that today is Christmas Eve. I'm afraid that I do not really have too many fond memories of Christmas or anything like that.
I am sitting here in the living room of our compound while my colleagues are comparing their Christmas tradition from their families. I cannot help but remember that my family and I have no real "Holiday" traditions. I am not 100% sure if we have any family traditions at all. I have never been one for holidays or anything like that. But I do get sad when I think about the holidays. I think that I really like the idea of having my own family and starting our own traditions that persist through the years.

I think that I am just jealous this Christmas.

Monday, December 20, 2010

New/Old Tech

This is a test blog post from this strange blog updater that I've gotten from the internet. I'm not really sure why I would need it or even want it. But alas, I have it and I want to see what this is all about. So, herewWe go.


A letter

Today I received a letter. This letter, although simple and concise, has brought me immeasurable joy and happiness. In it was the knowledge that I am still not alone in this. Every few weeks, I start to falter a little. I begin to think that maybe I'm doing it wrong, or that maybe I am bothersome in the amount of times I call or email. Then I receive reassurance that I am not and that there is no way that I could be. The delicate purple handwriting shows the side of her that I enjoy so much. Yes, of course, there is the adrenaline-junkie part with whom I enjoy discovering new things. But the manner of her letters, the ink with which she writes and the mannerisms of her speech are what remind me of who she is and why I think of her constantly. Even the hand-doodle picture at the bottom is just more reassuring to me. It would seem as if my heart grows fonder with every pen stroke shown on this paper.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Worries and Woes

I’m getting more and more concerned the longer that I sit here and think about my future. For some reason I feel like I do not have any viable skills that will allow me to go into the real world and make money. I talk to my friends, who are all incredibly intelligent, super hard-working, and insanely organized, and they say that it’s easy to find a job. I feel like college prepared me to do nothing. I’m good at studying languages. I can organize other people’s lives. But I can’t seem to manage my own life and keep myself from spiraling down a hole that I do not believe that I will be able to get out of.
I’ve always had this idea in my head that I would go to Law School and then go and get an MBA. Or the other way around. I really enjoy law and I enjoy thinking and even, to a certain extent, writing. But now I am haunted by thoughts of not being good enough. I am that guy that I promised I would never be. What am I to do? Who will take me? I am an average person, with an average skill-set, in a down economy. I want more than I can have and I have more than I need. But for some reason, the cycle persists. I think that I just want to go home and organize my life. I feel confused and overwhelmed here. Nothing is easy to accomplish.
It is about to become very difficult to pay my bills, because I will have to use Chinese money. This also means that I will lose a lot of the money that I make in fees. I hate losing money. I’m okay with spending money, but I hate to lose money.
Perhaps I worry too much. Or maybe I’m worrying just enough for my current situation. Who knows.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Mediocre Fence?

There is a satisfying feeling that you get when you check something off of your bucket list. For me, that thing is the Great Wall of China. Today, after being less than 90 km away from it for 4 months, I finally set foot onto the Great Wall. Now, let me say, there are some things that people exaggerate. Some people insert extravagant adjectives, where only meager ones are called for. Let me be the first to tell you that this is NOT the case when talking about the GREAT Wall. Aptly named, it pretty much encompasses, what used to be, the borders of China. If I were in an army marching toward this gigantic structure, I would be instantly disheartened.
It was a beautiful day that I travelled, with 5 of my female coworker/adventurers to experience this marvel. The sun was shining, there weren’t too many people, there was not an inordinate amount of fog. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if it had not been -3 degrees Celsius outside. That did put a slight damper on the whole day. Not enough, however, to deter us completely. This trip was sparked by one of my co-workers who is leaving to go back to America for good on Thursday. She told us, “I can’t go back until I see the great wall.” This is absolutely true. You just CAN NOT return to America, after being in Beijing, without seeing it. Some of the Chinese students have told us that, “you’re not a real man until you hike the Great Wall.” That’s right people, they call your masculinity into question!! It’s outrageous.

About the actual Great Wall:
It is very strange to walk the wall because not a single stair on there is remotely the same. We all joked that the engineer had to be a man with one short leg and one long one while suffering from cataracts. We thought that he stood there on one of the many uneven spots, and with his juxtaposed legs, concluded that they were, in fact, even. A bunch of us were also confused as to the reason that the wall does not go in a straight line from A to B. Instead, it weaves like a serpent from A, to C, around Q, dipping through L, before coming to a pause at B. It turns out that we had lots of questions, coupled with just as many hypothesis, but no real answers. We kept walking and joking to mainly avoid thinking of the pain of it all.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Bicycles and Books

I signed up for a Chinese class in Beijing! For the next two weeks, I will spend two hours a day in a classroom in Wudaokou being taught a Chinese. The program first came to my attention by way of one of the married couples in the program. They have participated in the two week classes off and on for the past year or so. With their guidance, I decided to do the same. Unsure of what to expect, I brought my 300 RMB to the small school located in the heart of our district. Since I was a first time guest of the school, I got to experience my first class for free. They didn't have to do that, I would have paid for it right then but the workers at the school insisted that I try it first. So I showed up today with my notepad and a pen ready to absorb the Chinese language. The class has only 7 people in it, ideal for student teacher interaction. I was primed and ready to slowly work my way through the English language. Sadly, that was not how this class worked! Our teacher, a woman in her mid to late twenties, walks in and greets the class. After a short period of arranging her things, she starts blasting through vocabulary and phrases that I had never heard before. (Point of information: I have come into the class a couple days late and it seems that those few days have made all of the difference) I was encouraged by the knowledge that, although I did not thrive in the class, I was not sinking miserably. The Mandarin knowledge that I have acquired over the past 3.5 months has served me well enough to absorb other lessons in Chinese. My biggest shortcoming became apparent when our teacher began writing on the board, about 3 minutes into class. She writes completely in Chinese characters with a smattering of Pinyin. The problem is that I, Akil Thomas (self-study Chinese student of 3.5 months) do not know more than 5 common characters in Chinese. Here this woman was, writing complete essays on the board and expecting us to read them. Mainly, I just smirked and continued scribbling furiously into my notebook. There was a point during the 2 hours where I decided that I wanted to learn the characters too, so I endeavored to copy them down as she had written them. By the time I finished, painstakingly drawing the two characters at the beginning of the sentence, the teacher had finished writing, explaining and was moving onto questions! Needless to say that I abandoned any other such pursuit during class time. I did however learn a great deal of vocabulary and sentence structure that I believe will GREATLY improve my oral Chinese. I do want to learn to write a little; or at least to recognize written characters. We will see how long that lasts. So I will spend some time on that after I spend some time CATCHING UP to where the rest of the class is. Oh, I forgot to mention...those few days that I missed allowed them to make it all the way to chapter 13!! Yes, crazy!!! Chapter 13!! On the other hand, I was keeping up with a class that was already on Chapter 13. Kudos to me, eh? Yes, I think so.

Okay, so in order to get to my lessons I decided to borrow my friend's bike and take on one of the most harrowing journeys that I have tried to do. I am not sure how familiar with the Beijing bicyclists, and their system of transport, that you are, so I will venture to inform you. First let me say, people are crazy no matter where you are. It turns out that motorists hate pedestrians, pedestrians hate motorists, and everyone hates cyclists. The problem arises when, 55% of the population finds it necessary to ride their bicycle and the other part of the population that drives finds it necessary to completely ignore cyclists. They also ignore all of the regular rules of the road. It is quite scary! Not to mention the wind. It was very refreshing to be back on a bike, though it was incredibly disheartening to have crazy drivers zooming by weaving in and out of traffic. Since I normally ride in GA, I was not used to any of the elements that I was going to face while I was riding. Aside from the crazy drivers, was the wind, which always seemed to be against me! I have no idea how it was possible. I was only in class for 2 hours. It should not have changed that quickly. Anyway, it was only a 14 mile day. But it was 14 miles further than I have ridden since my arrival in China.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It turns out that my last post was a little sad. I think that I was having a bad day and needed to let it out with a little poetry. I implore you to believe that, although life is very stressful, I am having some of the best times of my life. It is crucial to take life as it comes to you and to keep moving. This is a lesson that I continually struggle with and am working to improve.

China is good. Right now it is bitterly cold and unbearably windy. During our next break, I think that I will travel to some place with a bit more sun and sand. I hope to visit the popular south of China, Hainan. Hainan, is said to have some of the best beaches, in China, and as such, tends to attract many tourists to in clear blue waters during the year. At first, I planned to go to Shanghai with a bunch of co-workers and some friends to ring in the new year together. As it turns out, it is very hard to plan when there are so many strong willed people involved. So, I decided that if I'm not going to that city to enjoy all that they have to offer, that I am going to find my way to a beach somewhere. I will sit in the sand with a book or two and drink beers and margaritas. I will watch the sun come up when I wake and then I will bask in it's glow as it descends below the horizon. I can not wait. I think that it is exactly what I need right now.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This is my pain

I cry silently inside.
I cry so silently and so hard that my tears fill me to the brim and force themselves out in the world like little rivulets of pain.
Catching my tears in a glass would bottle the purest emotional pain that I can muster. But I do not. I wipe my eyes and try to make my glass a little wider and take away all hope of those tears’ escape.
In search of a way to relieve the turmoil inside me, I trudge. Everyday through the dirty streets of Beijing hoping, praying for a sign of normalcy, I venture forth.
I beg for one semblance of my former life. A single refuge from the deluge of emotion and stress that this period of my life has brought me.
At every corner I hope that my next turn will bring a respite from the weight I carry on my soul. And at every corner I find none. I find other people’s joy and happiness and love but none for me.
I know that my eternal life is full of joy and happiness through my Lord Jesus. But right NOW I just want someone to say…something.
With no relief in sight, I expand my bottle once again and trap my tears within me again with the knowledge that the tempest will break free.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

I am so frustrated that I just want to yell!! I want to go into a room and scream until my head explodes and my lungs liquify and slide out of my body. I do not deal well with frustration. Especially when I do not have a physical refuge to reside. I have no gym(treadmill), I have no place to climb, I have no one to talk to here. Everything is walking on eggshells. Sadly, my feet are too large to effectively tip-toe through this life.

My stomach is in a knot inside my chest. I can barely breathe. All I want to do is relieve my tension in some healthy way. Or else, this will end poorly. The only problem is that there is no safe place here to relieve that frustration. I am holding myself together with duct tape, trying not to explode.

I miss it.

Things are getting harder here. It's hard to focus on the things that are important in my life here. Yes, I am homesick. I miss the convenience of America and I miss my clean kitchen and my clean lifestyle. I miss having a gym that I can DRIVE to whenever I want. And with everyone here in a couples situation, I miss being able to touch someone, even if just for a moment.

More on this later...or not.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Photos

I think that my blog needs more photos. It looks more like a bunch of short novels than a multimedia accounting of my life. I'll work on that, promise.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Adventures in Xi'An

So, I'll start with my account of the week. I missed my computer!!! Not for the explicit reason of it being technology. I missed it because without it, I could not get in contact with the people that I care about the most. This is terribly frustrating for me and it keeps reminding me that I am in another country half a world away. Okay, with that said, the trip was great fun. It was a blast to get out of Beijing and start actually accomplishing things that I want to do here in China. It started off a little rocky just because getting 8 people on one schedule and maneuvering around a city as big as Beijing is tough to do. So we started off a little late but managed to everything that we needed to do on time. (i.e. Getting to the station and eating and boarding.) We arrived at this train station in Beijing, and OH MY GOSH!!! it is huge. Turns out that it is supposed to be the single largest train station in the world. Now, I don't know if that is by size or by quantity of people shuffled through there. But either way, both were impressive. We sat there and took a bunch of photos just of the train station before finding a McDonald's to eat. (I'm not the largest fan of McD's in the first place and even less so that I'm in a foreign country. But this is what happens when the majority wins.) So we make it into the train station and onto our train in plenty of time. This is the first time that I have ever been on a sleeper train so I was a little scared of 2 things. The first was what they looked like and the second was the quality of the trains. Things in China have been known to not be built for sturdiness as much as quantity. Well it turns out that both were good. The compartments were, by no means, spacious, but they were also not overly cramped. Perhaps I've been in China for too long, who knows. I'll attach a photo to show you. (I think I'll send two emails so that I can send you all of the photos that I want to) My group was all on middle and top bunks and it was actually really fun. We chatted for a bit with the two Chinese women below us and we broke some bread together. It was pleasant.
These trains are rigid though. They arrive on time, they leave on time. When they say that the lights will go out at 10, they mean it! Not 10:01. Not 9:59. And they come on in the same fashion at 6:30. It was really funny. So, as 10:30 rolled around, in the dark, I decided to go to sleep on my hard sleeper. It sounds a lot worse than it really is. The beds were actually quite comfortable. There are four categories, hard and soft sleepers and hard and soft seats. the latter two are just no fun at all, from what I can tell. When we woke and arrived, we were super disoriented, as it was 6:30 in the morning but still managed to find our way out of the station and on to the bus that would take us to the hostel. (I'm trying to organize my thoughts in a way that you can comprehend, so forgive me if it's jumbled...it's kind of a mess up here).
The day that we arrived was mildly depressing. The city was shrouded by rain clouds that threatened to burst at any minute. Also, the city seemed incredibly daunting due to the massive wall built around the city. It was so crazy to see a wall like that. (I still haven't been to the great wall yet.) But that seems to be a recurring theme with the Chinese..."Oh someone is coming! Let's build a wall" My thoughts were, how do you stop them from invading, or whatever, until you've completed your wall? It's not as if they will stay there and wait for construction to be over?! At any rate, we made it to the hostel and were very pleased with the accommodations. I kind of knew what to expect since I had stayed in a bunch of hostels prior to that and I was the one who found and booked the hostel. :) I like to know where I'm sleeping.
The Hostel that we stayed in had a pretty sweet setup. A full service restaurant(three meals and snacks), 3 separate lounge and patio areas, a downstairs bar, and some help planning trips to cool places around the city, were all things that this particular hostel offered. It only cost about 40 RMB per night ($6). I LOVE the hostel environment. I really enjoy the opportunity to meet new people and hear their stories. Everyone has something interesting about them and there is always someone who wants to hear it.
We let our stuff rest in the hostel while we took to the streets almost immediately upon arrival, after breakfast and a shower. The first day we kind of wandered around looking at the city. We found this cool place called the muslim quarter that was really pretty and had some beautiful architecture. We also found our way to this museum of stone artifacts. That one was probably the coolest up to that time. It housed a bunch of old stone carvings of letters and thoughts and ideas of Confucious (sp?). It was some cool stuff. Mostly interesting because of the Chinese written language, itself, being carved elegantly into stone. Some were big, some were small. That has got to be a deep thought to take the time to chisel i out on a piece of stone. :)
I forgot to tell you this. Remember that super sweet playlist that I was making for this trip? Well, I didn't get to listen to it on the way there because my headphones broke!! :( It was soooo sad because I was ready to get pumped for Xi'An and I couldn't. I like to listen to music while I'm walking around towns too and I couldn't. so, I had to go and buy some more to last me those few days until I got back here to my spare pair.
After all of the walking around, we all made it back to the hostel to chill out and take in the hostel life for the evening.The restaurant was full of people drinking and talking about their days so we joined in. I tend to drift towards the people that I don't know moreso that drift inward to my group of friends. Maybe because I feel like we are ALL friends because we are hostelers. I tend to not even miss a beat, I act like we're old friends. So needless to say, I met a bunch of cool people from all over the place that were traveling through China. They told us about some cool things that they had already done and some other knowledge that they had just attained. After the restaurant closed, we all shuffled to the downstairs bar that was Quite entertaining! It tends to be a party spot because the hostel opens in up to the city through an entrance on the street. So we sat around and enjoyed the company of others.
I'm trying this not drinking alcohol thing for a little while. Not for any particular reason. I'm just a little tired of it. I normally drink in moderation and I think that there is nothing wrong with it. But I am a little tired of it. This past month, I tried only drinking water. I almost made it. I had some fruit juice on the last couple of days. So I sat with my water and hung out until about 11:30 or so when I decided it was time to go back to the room because I was tired and we had an early day the next day.
(If at this point, you're bored...you can skip ahead! haha, I'll include an asterisk when it gets "good" again)
The next day, we got up early to go and find the terra-cotta warriors. That's right, I saw them. The problem is, they turned out to be a pretty big disappointment. It's something that you have to see but it's not something that you need to see more than once. I think that the problem is that the media and television play up the warriors more than they should. So it was kind of a let down. The site is split into 3 pits and an exhibition area...Well, the first pit we went into, Pit 2, was medium sized...but there were no warrior. They told us all about how there were a bunch under the dirt that they couldn't open because some guy, out of spite, came in and stole all of their weapons and burned the place...so excavating them would ruin them further. That stunk! Then the second Pit that we went into, Pit 3, was so tiny that it was barely worth seeing. There were hardly any warriors in there at all...maybe 30 or so...So we took our photos and heard about the history then moved on. Now, they have said that the last pit(1st pit) is the most magnificent. It is the one that they are still excavating. And it is supposed to have about 7000 soldiers and horses in there. Well, That may be true, but I did not see it. There were about 1500 or so. That's a liberal guess. Anywho, the concept itself, is AWESOME!!! This guy, who only ruled for 50 or so years, didn't even have an heir that I can remember. He decided to build an army of people to keep him safe in the afterlife. This army is about 1.5K away from his ACTUAL tomb. But, not only that, he decreed that all of his concubines and the workers would be buried with him. (That part was less awesome.) He ended up killing about 760,000 people! Crazy, huh? YES!
After the warriors, we made our way back to the City to go to the hostel. That night, I went straight to the room to chill after I ate some dinner. I have been reading the "Three Cups of Tea" Book and legitimately cannot put it down.
*The next day we had scheduled our trip to Hua Shan, one of the five sacred mountains of Daoism. This is literally a Kung Fu mountain. It is said that Kung Fu masters would meet each other on the mountain to do battle. It could be a myth though. Any way, the mountain has 4 monastery/dojo places that we saw on our route. It started out kind of strange because we did not get up early enough to make the bus that would take us to the mountain (left the station at 8AM) We had to wait for the 9:50 train, not too bad. So we got our tickets and walked around for a bit before finding our terminal to prepare ourselves for this train ride. This one was NOT quite as smooth as the other one. We purchased some hard sitter/standing room seats for 20RMB and honestly, you get what you pay for. The lower end tickets are dreadful. There is no where to sit, people spit and throw their stuff everywhere. I thought that I had found a seat when I got on (we were all on different cars) I used my limited Mandarin skills to ask and thought that I got that it was available. Apparently I was mistaken. A burly Asian man came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder, telling me to get up... So I did, sheepishly. Luckily, at this time, some of my friends had had the same luck and we just stood there looking American while the train started to move. After a minute or two, Mark and I decided to just try to figure this out. (Adam left to go find his gf) We eventually fought our way to the back of the train where we found a few legitimately open seats and took them with pride. Problem two arose 2 hours later when we got off. We found ourselves, not at the train station near the base of the mountain where we wanted to be, but in a rickety town 30 minutes away. As soon as they saw us, a bunch of "shady/gray" cab drivers came up to get us to where ever we wanted to go...for a fee, of course. One man, the pushiest of all, but also strangely polite managed to get us into his car after much prostrating from both parties. We finally make it to the base of the mountain and we are super excited!!! But, by this time, the time we had allotted to climb the mountain is gone so we make the decision to ride the cable car up and then hike down. Turns out, this was a great idea. Tell you why in a bit. Problem 3 arose after our cable car decision when we realized that it was flippin' expensive to do that. So we pooled our money and made it possible for all of those that were there. The ride up the mountain was beautiful, albeit brief (10 minutes or so). We found out quickly that some of out party were deathly afraid of heights and dangling from an unsteady cable car stabbed at their nerves. Through much coddling, a little making fun, and some "it's almost over" or "you're doing great"...and maybe one or two, "OH NO!!!! WHAT WHAT?!?!...oh Nothing.", we made it to the top. we joked about having conquered the mountain and set out to explore the four separate peaks. These were some of the most beautiful scenes that I had ever seen. The camera that I was using just seemed inadequate, incapable of capturing the beauty that I was seeing, so I put it away. The mountain that we were on was steep and it was surrounded, literally, by mountains on all sides. Each mountain was more unique than the one before it. We stayed up there for so long...I just wanted to sit and enjoy it but others were so intent on seeing more and more. We found a "sacred" Kung Fu stone on the hill. We rubbed it and were instantly endowed with Kung Fu mastery. No but really, we took some cool "Kung Fu" poses next to it. Bunches of fun. When it came time to descend the peak, we realized that it was a great idea that we did not try to climb it in one day.
The first 2K that we faced, which would have been the last 2K of the climb were thin stairs straight down. Looking down the side of that mountain was so scary. I'm getting a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. But being the experience outdoorsman that I am. (LQTM*) I stayed cool under the pressure and tried to guide the others down the steep inclines. Thank God we all made it down the first section in one piece. The next 2K were still stairs they were just a little less steep and had landings where a person could rest and look out on the scenery. We were descending the mountain just as the sun was going down and it was very pretty thing to see. Luckily, the last 2K was just a steep slope. Honestly though, after all of the stairs, this was very difficult. Most of us are still sore right now! (2 days later) When we finally made it down the slope, we decided that that train we came in on would not work again so we decided to upgrade to the bullet train. We made it to the station early and saw that there were some people outside doing Tai Ji. I was super excited because apparently you can just jump in whenever you want. So I got my roommate Adam and our friend Sherry to come do some with me. It's soooooo relaxing. I want to study it while I'm here. For about an hour and a half after that we played games like categories and some other ones that our Chinese friend knows. We were exhausted but still in high spirits.
When we finally made it to back to the hostel after that long day, I hung out with the people downstairs to swap stories for about 40 minutes before having to go upstairs and pass out. :)
The Final day we were there, before our train back at 6PM, we went to this Museum that showcased the history of Shaanxi province and mostly stuff about the Tang dynasty. A lot of the artifacts were very beautiful and very old. I must be honest, I am not 100% into artifacts or sculptures. I am more of a paintings person. Luckily for me, there was a showcase of Chinese art in the museum too. of course I went in and spent the majority of my time taken away by the paintings. There was one in particular that made me want to melt. Had I the money, I would have purchased it then and there. It was a painting of a young tibetan woman laying in the grass in traditional Tibetan clothing. It was not in full color but more in black and white with moderate accents of color here and there. Her hair was flowing with the wind, as was the grass. The whole piece was wonderful but none of that was what grabbed me. It was her eyes that made me need her. Her eyes showed of pain and work. They were aged beyond their years through, what seemed to me, as a tough life. But they were beautiful in all respects.
After all of that, we got our bags and got back on the train to come back to Beijing. We arrived here this morning at 6AM in the same fashion that we left. I am fairly tired, but it seems that the session starts tomorrow. :) So I guess I'm going to be ready.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I know that it has been quite some time since my last post. I plan to, today, sit down and write about most everything that has happened here in China.

Just be Patient

Saturday, October 2, 2010

A Mid-Afternoon Haircut Adventure

Alright. Today I decided that I needed a haircut. Now, I have been known to cut my own hair here and there. I came to China with the idea that I would, still, be cutting my own hair and today was the day that I planned to test that idea. Overall, I must say that it was a success. There were, however, a couple of minor hiccups that made the journey that much more fun.

I decided, initially, that I wanted to do it outside so that clean up was minimal. This was a great idea, I must say. The first problem that arose was that of HOW to cut my hair outside, with no viewable power source. I came up with the brilliant idea (no sarcasm...maybe a little) to open my window and link 2 power strips together so that it would reach out of the window. That worked. Alright, power, done!

The next was tunes. Of course I love music and could not have done something as awesome as cutting my hair in China without some tunes. So I turned up my iTunes and turned my computer speakers toward the window. “But what if I don’t like the song?” - Enter my apple remote control. So music is a go. I’m pretty much set, right?

I then moved all of my things outside so that I could begin the cutting journey. I brought my clippers, trimmers, two mirrors (one of which had just been purchased). Sweet, so I’ve got all my stuff and I am ready to go. I’ve set my medium sized mirror against my open window and have the hand-held one ready to use when the situation warrants. In the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Man, I wonder about the voltage of my super sweet hair clippers”. That full thought had not made it to the front of my mind yet. So, I try plugging it into the power strip and....it doesn’t fit. My clippers are the only thing that I brought to China that have one big prong and one small prong. Well, China doesn’t like that! No sir, they do not. I instantly remember that I purchased adapters from America for just such occasions. And I run inside to get one. After acquiring the adapter and returning to my task, I come to find out that my adapters ALSO have one big prong and one small prong. I bought 4 of the wrong adapters!

So my next task was to find a way to get my abnormal prongs into some sort of power strip. I thought perhaps it was the power strip so I come back into the room to try a different one. - side note: it is a BEAUTIFUL day outside. the sun is shining, the leaves are green, the wind is blowing, and the clouds have dissipated. - well there is a funny thing about having your window open along with your door while the wind is blowing...it creates a current that blows through your room and out the open window. Well, during this whole time my mirror has been laying against the screen of my open window and one good current comes along and SMASH. There goes the mirror. I tell myself, hm, that stinks. I’ll think about that later and go back to the task of finding a way to power this haircut. I look through EVERY single classroom in our main building before finding a different adapter that is already plugged in in our office. Of course I took it.

So now, I’ve got tunes, I’ve potentially got power, and I used to have a mirror. I asses the damage to the mirror: catastrophic. So, I set out on another mission. I remembered that one of the other teachers has a large mirror that I can borrow. Thing is, this one already has a huge crack in it. Better than nothing, right? That’s what I thought.

I’ve got tunes, a mirror, and power. I’m ready to go. I start searching for the number 1 guard that I normally use so that I’m not shaving my head bald. Turns out, I think that I may have left it in America. So I pick a new guard, because by now I am determined to get this haircut happening. I plug it my clippers and they do NOT blow up, so I’m happy. I turn them on, they do NOT blow up. So at this point, I’m excited. Not too excited though that I don’t notice that my NON-exploding clippers are vibrating REALLY fast and sounding REALLY loud. After turning them off and thinking about whether I can do this haircut before my clippers DO blow up, I forge ahead with my mission. The thought process was mainly, “They won’t be plugged in there too long, so they probably won’t get enough juice to over power them. I will just go get some new ones for the next haircut.” Logical, right?

Here I am, going to town cutting my hair. It’s going fairly smoothly at the moment. Nothing has exploded. The sound is a tad annoying but nothing I can’t manage. After about 7 minutes cutting, I notice that not only are my clippers vibrating really hard but they are also heating up rapidly. So I decided that it was a good time to take a short break and evaluate the haircut thus far. It’s looking good, they are calming down. I embark upon the clipping again. I don’t know if you’ve ever looked into a mirror with a huge crack diagonally across it but it is very difficult to see anything. It’s like having two mirrors together while you can never get one complete picture. So with the help of one of my friends, I finished it up. As soon as I felt that the cut was complete, I unplugged the clippers in hopes that I had avoided their explosion/meltdown.



It was a job well done. Maybe next time I’ll try something else. I’m not sure that I’d risk that again. But all-in-all, no fatalities, and I got a good cut.

Friday, October 1, 2010

A New Pledge

I want to be better. I have a goal that I want to run a triathlon. I have never run a triathlon. I have never run a marathon. The most running that I have done in the past 3 months is a collective 10 or 12 miles...maybe. I have not biked in a solid 2 months and I don't even remember if I CAN swim...lol. But THIS is my goal. I look at triathletes and they seem to be some of the most genuinely happy and energetic people (before and after the race) and I think that I can do that.

Honestly, I am not in shape. I have a belly and asthma, I drink and eat too much. But I know that I want to do this. I haven't thought it all the way through...about which race I would like to run or anything. But I would like to be ABLE to do it by the end of this year. My thoughts are, it's a whole year...I'm not really doing anything. I am fully capable of finding a gym or something and running and training.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

What have we done?

It is hard to be a foreigner in a place full of foreigners. I don't think that I am explaining this well. Let's try this a different way. In school, people knew me. That's not meant to be conceited or anything. As a large quasi-outgoing black guy in a mostly white Baptist University, people notice you and talk to you. After that, though, I never seemed to have any friends, (in relation to the amount of people that I knew). I only had 3 or so people that I could call up and say, "Hey, let's hang out." I didn't really think much of it. I just thought that I was really busy or something and didn't have enough time to hang out with tons of people. Well now, fast-forward a year or two and now I'm in China. Yet, the same situation is arising, not only within the students, but among the staff. So, I have to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? The only commonality in these two situations is me. Now, this is not a self-defacating post. I am just wondering. It's not like I am super busy. I have the time to hang out with people who are doing stuff. I feel a little awkward inviting myself along on things that I have no business doing. I wouldn't mind hanging out though. Do I smell a little bit? Am I too slow? Too loud? I'm not sure. But these questions do arise in my head. I really wish someone would just be like, "Dude, we don't like you because..." It would make things a lot easier. Much less awkward. Then I wouldn't be sitting here, throwing myself into miscellaneous hobbies (guitar, photography, movie-making, blogging).

On another note, California is looking better and better. I haven't heard from her in a long time so I'm not planning to see what she does, if I ever was. But I can see myself there. It just feels like a place that I should be. I don't really know what it is right now that is drawing me there. I just feel like everything will be alright if I happened to be in California.

I think that it is about time to start job searching and preparing to apply to law schools. I have been putting it off but I think that with the economy the way it is and my life where it is, I need to start putting plans into action.

It's been a while

Okay, let me sit down and write this novel. I hope that I can organize my thoughts in such a way that allow me to convey the awesomeness of the past 3 weeks to you and say everything that I wanted to say all in one post.

Okay, so my first thought goes to my camera, or lack thereof. My camera that I have had for a very long time has pretty much seen it’s last days. Pieces of it are falling off everyday. The whole thing is being held together by tape so that I can still take some photos. Now, no...it is not hard to find cameras in China. They are kind of everywhere. The problem that you run into is whether the cameras that you are looking at are real or not. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I was just getting a crappy camera to hold me over until I get back to the states. Sadly, I want a real camera. I want the Nikon D5000. I know what you’re thinking, “don’t they make those around there somewhere?” The answer is yes, they do. But I, once again, don’t want to pay 5000 Yuan or so for something that is fake. It comes to about $750 or so. Plus with me not making a ton of money here in China, it makes things a little more difficult. I had found one in Atlanta for a good price before I left but I was convinced by outside parties that I could find it cheaper here. At any rate, now I don’t really have a camera to take photos with so I’ve been having to steal other people’s photos.

It turns out that the program that I work for, TIP, is making a little commercial or some short little film. Well, I volunteered to head up the project and do lots of the filming for them. This is super exciting because it is my first real foray into filmmaking. They game me a real camera that seems kind of expensive. I have been setting up shots and all kinds of things like that. So much fun. I have also been using the camera to film some of my own things which is kind of exciting too. I ran into a little problem at the beginning. In order to get the footage off of the camera and on to your computer, you have to use a cord that has FIreWire 400 on it. Well, Apple stopped making computers with FireWire 400. They only use 800 now so I have to go buy a converter cable. Haha, one thing about Apple, they know how to make money.

A few months ago my guitar got stolen out of my car. This was painful, very painful indeed, but I knew that I would get another one. The discussion was whether to get another one in the states and then bring it to China or just to get one in China. I was thinking that the next guitar that I got was going to be a Taylor, because I really am in LOVE with their guitars, and with that I knew that I did not want to bring it to China. Plus, it would just add to the things that I had to carry, no fun. Well, a week or two ago, I did end up buying one with some of the money that we got for the last session. It has been one of the best purchases that I have made here in China. When I’m down, bored, or just feeling creative, I just pick up my guitar and start going to town. In addition to that, one of my friends here songs, and we’ve decided that we will play at one of the open mic nights here in the city. As a large group person I actually have a lot of time to do a lot of things and since I don’t always like getting dressed and leaving my room, I just pick up the guitar. Turns out that item number 89 on my bucket list is to learn Jazz guitar, so with my random amounts of free time, I have been trying to learn Jazz and Blues guitar. I am working on progressions, scales, and soloing. Hopefully by the end of this year I will be good enough to share with others.

Last Wednesday I received a letter from my best friend, Kris, that pretty much lifted my spirit for the whole week. After that, nothing phased me it was very happy. She just told me about her life back in Macon and that she missed me. Of course, it was funnier to her and I. But it was still great to hear from her via snail mail.

Following that fantastic letter from Kris came one of the best no, the best, care package that I have ever received. It took her forever, but mom finally managed to get a super sweet care package into the mail to me. She sent me tons of snack food that I hope will last me for a pretty long time. I have already done an inventory of what I have and I think that I can stretch it for a while. She sent things like Skittles, starburst, goldfish(yum), clif bars, my mouse and hard drive (hallelujah), oatmeal, and gummy bears. Sadly, the gummy bears are not the ones that I asked for but I will not fault her for it. Oh, she also included a pack of Nutter Butters that I kind of finished off within the first two days. A little taste of home goes a long way. I’ve been learning to cook. I plan to go buy my own skillet, cutting board, and knife with some of the money from my next paycheck. Not that they don’t already have that stuff, it’s just VERY gross looking. So, I prefer to use my own. I’m finding that the less American stuff you try to do or use, the further your money will go. Package from mom

Well, it’s been about 7 weeks in China. I am not positive on that statement, mind you, but I think. My Chinese is improving steadily, I think. Others say that I am doing very well, but I feel that I am a tad more critical about my skills than they are. I am able to order food, give directions, menial greetings and some commands. I can also have short conversations complete with short sentences. To my credit, I can at least form complete sentences. I am working now on more complex grammar and sentence structure, understanding the different tones of native speakers and thinking in Chinese. Perhaps I am moving too fast, I am not sure. All I know is that if I want to make my Chinese deadline of Early January, I have to do more than what I am doing. It is a very difficult language at first, but I think that it gets better with time. The hardest part is just remembering what you want to say. It is easy to mimmic someone else, but then pulling that out of a store in your brain lends to many problems. I am also getting better at recognizing characters and writing characters in Chinese. Yes, that is an ENTIRELY different lesson altogether. It is not like you just learn the words and tones and then you can read and write. No, you learn the tones and words. Then, in a completely separate occurrence you learn the Characters and how to read them and maybe write them.

This session, I was a large group facilitator. Large group is one of the most fun things ever. You feel like a rockstar, in front of 160+ students. You don’t make the same connections that the small group facilitators make and sometimes that makes me kind of jealous. Chinese people are really interesting and have lots to say if you are willing to listen and be patient with them. Anyway, in large group, I go over famous speeches, fairy tales, and a morning motivational. I think that my favourite has got to be the morning motivational because it’s a pretty positive message and usually gives the students something big to think about for the day. I got “promoted” to both large group manager and supplies manager too. They don’t really mean anything, nor do they do anything extra, nor do they get paid more. I just figured that it would look good on a resume sometime in the future. So, I take the position with joy...maybe.

Okay, so every time lunch and dinner roll around, I get very sad. There is a cafeteria on campus that honestly, is not very good. They cook the SAME thing every single day. I mean the exact same thing. No, it does not change from session to session. This cafeteria cooks the same food now that they did when I first got here. It is pretty dreadful and I’m over it. Not to mention we are required to go to lunch and dinner. I am okay with going to them. I just don’t really want to eat or spend money on anything that they have there. I don’t know if I’m getting this point across well enough. It’s not that it’s Chinese food. I like Chinese food. It is what they prepare and how they prepare it. For a solid week, I only ate 2 sticks of meat a day because I was tired of the rest of the food and didn’t really want to leave the campus. :(


Here we go, it is the last day or so of the session and the students are now able to speak Chinese. The quiet students have erupted. It is very nearly impossible to get them to stop. They are all so eager to get back at the facilitators for them not being able to speak Chinese for 20 days and they want to teach us everything. It sounds good but it’s not. It is nearly impossible to learn anything while 35+ teachers are all screaming at you to repeat after them. It is a funny change to the environmental dynamic. On the other side, I ran into an anomaly today, a person who did not really want to speak Chinese. She said that it felt weird now. She, however, is a pretty good English speaker and communicates very effectively in either language.

Sadly, it’s that time of year again. The season is changing and I am getting sick again. It happens every year so I don’t know why I am surprised. There is always about a 5-8 day adaptive period where I figure out which combinations for medicines will work this time around. I have not yet figured out the combination for this one. I hope that I can be well soon. I know that I have things that I want to do and I do not want to be sick for them.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Downs and Ups

So, the most recent adventure was my day today. It's been a combination of ups and downs. Well actually downs and ups. It started off with me being woken up this morning by my air conditioning unit dripping water on me and my bed. That is one of the most unpleasant ways to wake up - f.y.i. Then, after I got the building manager and tried to explain what happened, I tried to go back to sleep because I was in the middle of this sweet dream where I was a spy. :) I don't remember all of it but I know that part happened. My roommate and I ended up over-sleeping for the plans that we had made with our group which was unfortunate. (Two days prior, we all decided that we hadn't been doing enough during our break and we should finish off the things that we want to do in Beijing so that we can travel during our other breaks. So we planned to go to the Forbidden City, Ming tombs, and the Great wall on Tues, Thurs, and Fri, respectively.) Well we meant to leave by 10 but because of my roommate and I oversleeping, we didn't leave until 11:30. But, it all started going up from there. We ventured out to the ATM to get some cash for our adventure and this song came on my ipod that made me think of someone fantastic. 

The song is "Dreamgirl" by Dave Matthews Band. The first couple of lines were what got me thinking about it because of the China reference. After that it just kept getting better. To get to the Forbidden city we had to be on the subway for about 50 minutes and somehow we all managed to get seats as soon as we got on (that usually does not happen). We then spent about 6 or 7 hours wandering around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, which was AMAZING. I got so many cool photos. (I've been really getting into the "art of photography" - using juxtaposition, aperture, different lighting and angles to get great pictures - and the colors here in China are just great. I've been using my friends as models for me.) Plus you really feel like you are IN Chinese history when you're walking around where Emperors walked so long ago. It was great to just be able to relax for a bit and take in the sights, sounds, textures, and colors of the City. 

After we left the city, (it closes at 5) we hung out in the square until the guard came out for the flag lowering ceremony. I must say that it is one of the most perfectly timed things that I have ever seen in my life. It was very interesting to watch. 

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Ramblings

So, we kind of don’t have anything to do. I would love to update something interesting like, we went to the outskirts of China and saw the massive rice patties or hiked one of the crazy mountains that they have here. Sadly, I cannot. We sit around our apartments all day. Today I did not even wake up until 1:30 PM. I worked out, ran in the park, made some lists, and then listened to music and watched movies. This feels like a monster waste of opportunity, right? Yes, I think so too. I just don’t really know what else to do. I think that we have exhausted our Touristy options and my Mandarin is not sufficient enough yet to venture into the parts of Beijing where they do not speak English. So here I sit, glued to my computer.

I guess I can tell you about my next purchase. I am at a dilemma. My camera has reached its last leg and is falling quickly so I felt like it’s time to replace it with a professional (or semi-professional) camera. The only problem is that I do not know which camera I want to get. I know that I want a Nikon. There are 3 models that I wouldn’t mind having. The D40, D3000, and the D5000. Now, I’m new to the world of DSLR cameras but I have wanted a D40 for about 2.5 years now. This is mainly because all of my friends have had one and I KNOW that they take great photos. It’s what I’m used to. But, this is a time to get out of my comfort zone, is it not? So, the D3000, from what I’ve read, is like the D40 with a couple more bells and whistles and is for those who are not 100% positive on how to use aperture settings and other things of that nature. I, however, am somewhat familiar with the workings of cameras. At any rate, then there is the D5000 which is like the D40’s older, sportier cousin. I say this mainly because it comes with video capabilities and a screen that flips. Whoa now! I know, the screen flips, this makes it better for different angle-shots. New perspectives and what not. The D3000 is cheaper and still a good buy. The D40 is the one I want. However, the D5000 would be a lot of fun. Keep in mind that all of these cameras must be rigorously looked at, as I am in China...as place that is very prone to fake...everything. So, I run into the problem of which would I prefer. Not to mention which can I afford.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the day. I wonder what I’ll think of next.

I’ll leave you with this:

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live” ~ J.K. Rowling

Monday, August 30, 2010

Conflict

What does one do when conflict arises to devour one's life? Do you just let it crop up and take over? Do you fight it with everything you have to maintain your sense of normalcy? or Do you trust in God to resolve conflict? To me, I believe that God puts conflicts in our way to test us or allow us to grow. He does not, however, remove them for us. We have to trust that He has given us the knowledge and the tools to deal with the conflict that has arisen. That is the way that I feel about things.

Now, the conflicts that arise can go one or two ways. Either they change a relationship or they do not. If they do change the relationship, it can happen either negatively or positively. It is your job to decide which one it will be. You are almost guaranteed for the relationship to change, in my experience.

I presently struggle with positive or negative. Will I fight or will I let conflict take it's course? Do I care enough to go through the potential headache that could come with that fight? When is it okay to just call the match and go home? I've got a lot of hypotheticals here. Some of them are just questions on my mind, some of them actually mean something. Unless you are in my head or have been in every situation that I have been in for the past 6 months, you may not understand.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a hard time really caring about things or people. But, when I do care about it, I give my whole heart until I feel that it is more advantageous for me to move on or that my caring has become detrimental to myself or the thing that I care about. When this happens, I honestly have no problems letting go and moving on. *Except for one person (other than my mother) who has impacted my life, so permanently that I could not let go. If you have to ask, then you are not that person. Take solace in the fact that many many before you have not been that person either and many many after you will fall to the same dilemma.

I digress. Above is a passage that, while saying absolutely nothing, tells you everything that you need to know and answers all of the questions that you had.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Summer Palace

On Saturday, a small group of us decided to venture out and visit the summer palace. At first we had a bit of trepidation due to the large quantities of ran that were coming down in spurts the whole day. Obviously we just decided to screw the pooch and go for it and it turned out to be one of the best things that we could have done. Since it was raining still, there were very few people actually at the palace and we got to have full reign over the place. Yes, our clothes and things were a bit soggy afterwards, but it was definitely worth the trip. We didn’t really learn too much about the history, except that they made some pretty cool looking building and bunches of “secret” and not so secret tunnels on the grounds. We stayed there for about 4.5 hours and were still not able to see even a third of the palace. Makes you wonder about the time and effort that was put into the construction of these kinds of places just so that kings and queens (in this case, emperors and company.) could enjoy their weekends.

I’m becoming more and more frustrated with the actual structure, or lack-thereof, of the job. Even though flexibility is a mantra, disorganization does not have to be. It is possible to be the former without engaging in the latter.

The students, however, do make up for the shortcomings. They are terribly funny and very interesting. I’m glad that I have the chance to help them learn and teach English. I think that this will be a fantastic and significant experience for me.

Tired

1 week and a half here has felt like a solid 3 weeks with no breaks. Every day, for us, lasts the length of two. I’ve been having to take more and more time to myself just to stay sane and not be a mean person. It is terribly difficult in such close quarters.
I have had no time to go out into the city of Beijing and explore, to find a gym or rock wall, to find some cool places to hang. Because of all of the extemporaneous sessions, we are tired a lot and tired leads to low productivity and a tense workplace. Since our workplace is also our living place, it makes it that much more complex.

A bunch of us are planning a big trip to the Yunan Province very soon. We are going to go see a bunch of the Chinese countryside. We have been told that that is one of the “must visit” places in China. So, we are going to go!

Teaching and Blackberry Worries

Today was a good day. It was the first real start of work. Everything else up to this has been boring and fairly unnecessary. Today we got to “live life as a student” We went to all of their classes to get kind of a sense of what would be going on. We got to experience the questions that they ask and the electricity of an all English environment. Tomorrow, I am to teach my first class. Keep in mind that I still have no formal or even informal training on how to teach or what to tech. So, this should be fun. I am literally jumping head first into the ocean without knowing how to swim...or even float...even the concept of water is a little foggy.

Tonight, I also tried to unlock my blackberry bold 9000. Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I love my blackberry to death! I brought it with me as a safety blanket. Well one of the people here told me that all I had to do is call America and tell them the story, “that I was in China and not coming back for a while and since they didn’t have service here, they should allow me to get it somehow.” Well, they tried to pick up what I was putting down. But apparently it just wasn’t in the stars. I talked to one lady, very nice, who told me that there was nothing that she could do because of the system, but she would transfer me to RIM and they would handle it. Well, I was transferred to RIM. Sadly, they did not handle it. They told me that they didn’t have the codes and couldn’t give them to me, if they did, without the permission of att. They then proceeded to transfer me back to att who finally told me that there was nothing that they could do. They said this because apparently my phone was made “exclusively” for att and as such, has no unlock code. (this is after asking the manager). So I asked what would happen if I put my international sim card into my American world phone and was told that it would, “ask for an unlock code.” At this point I ::facepalmed:: so hard that I swear that the woman could hear it. After doing all of this over skype with no result, I was terribly frustrated and just want to go to sleep.

No Translator, Bad Idea.

Last night was a great bad idea. After we got done with our training and managed to swing the night off, a bunch of us decided to try and go get some food. The only obstacle was that the people that been traditionally taking us out and speaking for us were going to be busy. But we Mercer kids, with our adventurous spirits and what-not, decided to take on the task anyway. We used our limited and broken Chinese to navigate the three separate taxis that we had to take to make it downtown, make seating reservations at Pizza Hut, order food, order drinks, chat a little with people, order beers and play pool at local bar. All of this to say that we are not as incompetent as we are being treated by some of the program staff.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Miscellaneous Thoughts

It’s 6:30 AM here. You might find yourself asking, “why is he awake at 6:30, even though he’s not even working yet?” Well, apparently, the program that we have entered decided sometime along the flight that we were on that we would need to go get a brand new physical/blood work/x-rays. So, we have all had to wake up super early in order to hop on a bus and go to this international hospital where they will tell us that all of our paperwork is useless and we must get new work-ups of everything. for 650 RMB. In case you’re not familiar with the transfer, that’s somewhere in the ballpark of $99. For a bunch of people that came here unprepared to shell out another $100, this is quite steep. A bunch of use heard this and began to freak out most adamantly.
With all of our job training, it’s been hard to go out and experience any of the sites. We’ve mostly been on the campus learning how to “trust each other” ::sigh:: We all decided to jump ship and go out to a pub last night and I must say that we had a very interesting time. Most notable of the times was a bunch of us getting our butts kicked in table soccer by a drunk couple. Now, when I imply that we got demolished at this game, I mean it. We were righteously embarrassed. :) Good times were had.
So, soon we will be off to the International Hospital where they will proceed to poke and prod us for the foreseeable future. Basically, a great start to the beginning of the day. Then we will proceed through sit through another 10 hours of job training and “how to survive in a foreign country”.
My friends and I are slowly adjusting to Beijing life. It is a little different than that which we are accustomed in America. Things don’t happen exactly when you want them to. There has to be an ere of faith that everything will just work itself out. As you know, that’s not really how I operate. I usually need a solid schedule in order to function at maximum efficiency. But, I’m working on it.

Phew

8.11.10

Well, here we are in China. it’s kind of intense.
It turns out that we had to wake up this morning and begin training. Crazy, right? We had only been here for 6 hours and we had to go straight to to training. Sadly, it’s not even that fun. But how fun can training be? I hope to be able to update often on this site. :)
www.akilmthomas.com

Landed

8.10.10

We have landed in Beijing China.

I don’t know what to say, that was a big step for me. As we descended into the city from the air I saw what looked like a giant raincloud situated over the city. I have since come to understand that it is just the massive amount of smog and pollution that blankets the city. We are told that running outside for 30 minutes is the equivalent of smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in America. With that said, I haven’t figured out how I will work out yet. If there is anything that I do not care for about China so far, it is this. The sun cannot even penetrate the thick cover that is the fog.

My first transaction in China was the purchase of a grande Iced Coffee from Starbucks and I think that it went very well. The language is not too difficult if one just sits down and takes the opportunity to learn it. People stare at and are intrigued by me (because I’m black). It doesn’t bother me that much, though. I feel like that’s just one of those things that happens and you just deal.

Surprisingly, their cars are a lot like the ones in America. They are not like the super compact ones that travelers find in Europe and places like that. BMW, Audi, Porsche, and other “high end” cars inhabit the streets in surprising frequency. Although, Chinese greed is about the same as ours and I am told that status is everything.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Here I am on one of the most intensely frightening things that I have ever done. I am trying to wrap my head around just what it is that has got me worked up like this. I think that it has something to do with the immensity of this project on which I am embarking.
In case you are wondering, or have not heard the news, I have accepted a position teaching English in Beijing, China. As you may know, I love to travel the world and yes, China is on my list of places to visit.Even with all of those things considered, one can not be prepared for the path that your mind takes when you realize that you will be away from home for an entire year. Not only will your home environment have changed, but you, as a person will have become completely self sufficient whether you want to or not. It is possible that the relationships that you started and nurtured will disappear or fade into nothingness. It is possible that the girl that you like will have grown in an entirely different direction. Friends may have become enemies and enemies may have become your greatest allies. This is what I think about. This is what scares me.
Here I sit, in seat 24A, a small shoulder length space next to a window that dare not be opened for fear of flooding the entire cabin with light. I eat my beef stir fry with chop sticks to try to grasp, evermore, at the culture that has, henceforth, been a mystery. Just over half of the plane ride is gone and I still see no end in sight.
The language, for me, is a cumbersome one that I am not very familiar with. The only comfort, I think to myself, is that Spanish was once the same way and I conquered it. My challenge, however, is to do what took me 6 years, in 1. Needless to say this will prove a daunting task.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

How do you tell someone how much they mean to you without ruining everything? Decisions must be made at every stage of and those decisions can change your whole life.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Well, here I sit. Another day of packing has been completed and it's sad. I just feel like I'm shuffling through my entire life and it's kind of heartbreaking. I should be used to this, this is my 4th move in 4 years not counting . I should have it down to a science, right? It's almost as if my things should already be pre-packed.

I'm not sure why I'm still up and I've lost my original train of thought. But I'm sitting in my bed on my computer watching the commercial for P90X. I know that I really should just be doing it and not only watching the commercial. I know that I could look like these guys and be more flexible if I only tried. I think that I might try Tai Chi while im in Beijing. I hope that it will increase my flexibility and my calm. Of course I hope to still be working out during this year. I will have the digital version of P90X on my computer that I will be able to do. So, really, I could still do it.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I am at a loss. Should I stay, should I go? I do not belong here, in this house, with these people. How can I walk out there and smile at them knowing what I know and having done what I've done? It's very nearly impossible.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Concerns.

It's the last day of the world cup and I'm finding that I'm kind of sad. I'm finding out now that the end of the world cup means the beginning of my time in China. I am dreadfully afraid of leaving now. I wasn't before but now, things are changing and the looming results of my decision are showing up. I have NO understanding of the culture or the language. I have no money, or place to stay. I also have no friends there. I know that God will provide for me. But putting my trust in Him halfway around the world is proving to be a larger task than I had originally thought. Plus, I've just reconnected with an old friend which has proved to be a fantastic thing for me and my life. My family is moving back to the area where I grew up, the place I love and I've got a couple leads on some good jobs that I think I would be very good at.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

17 Quotes

Here are 17 of my favourite quotes on Being, Living, and Doing.

Enjoy.

“Fall seven times; stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” – Joseph Campbell

“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

“All is flux, nothing stays still.” – Heraclitus

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” – James Joyce

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” – Plutarch

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus

“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else” – Judy Garland

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank

“The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven” – John Milton

“Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

Saturday, June 26, 2010

China Cost of Living

These are some of the potential costs of living that I have found in Beijing. Looks like I'll be eating a lot of noodles.

Milk (1L) = RMB12
Milk Organic (0.5L) = RMB15
Cheese - Edam (1kg) = RMB30
Minced Beef (1kg) = RMB35
Minced Pork (1kg) = RMB30
Salmon (1kg) = RMB70
Salmon (1kg) from wholesale market = RMB50
Apples (1kg) = RMB5
Apples (1kg) from street vendor = RMB3
Tomatos (1kg) = RMB5
Tomatos (1kg) from street vendor = RMB3
Mineral Water - Chinese brand (1.5L) = RMB10
Mineral Water - Evian (1.5L) = RMB25
Coca Cola (500ml can) = RMB2
Carlsberg (500ml can) = RMB10
Tsingtao (500ml can) = RMB6

Steak at TGIF = RMB95
Steak at 5 star hotel = RMB200
Brunch buffet at 5 star hotel = RMB200
Dimsum buffet at 5 star hotel = RMB1206
Pizza 15" = RMB60
Big Mac = RMB20
Bowl of noodles at 5 star hotel = RMB100
Bowl of noodles in restaurant = RMB60
Bowl of noodles from street vendor = RMB8

It's happened

So, today I've been accepted to the TIP program in Beijing, China.

I'm scared. I found out that I could not sleep. Am I really ready to live for a year in a foreign country? Being away from everyone that I know and love for a whole year is kind of outrageous. I know that this is where God wants me to go and I wanted it too. Now I'm just really nervous. I know that this could, additionally, open up a world of opportunities for me in the ways of careers and things of that nature. Well, I speak NO Mandarin and have heard that the language is very nearly impossible to learn. I know that I tend to have a propensity for languages but I'm just not sure anymore. Should I have just waited and stayed here to find a real job? I have very real concerns none of them having to do with safety. I'll keep you posted about everything.

Monday, June 21, 2010

small revelation

So, I've decided today that I'm not listening to anyone else again. They said that I should chill out on the working out, give my muscles a break so they can recover. Okay, A) I know this already and I know how to work out. But, I decided to appease these people and chill out on the workout for a couple of days. Well, now I'm pissed because I went back into the gym today and tried to run my mileage. I could not. I have made it a principle that I never go backwards. If one day during a week I run 3 miles straight in 30 min or under, there is no turning around from that. The problem is that I could not do it. I'm finding that I run every day for my lungs, not for my legs or anything like that. Since I have asthma, running everyday helps to improve my lung function and skipping days negates that and makes it much harder for me to move forward. Lesson learned.

Also, I've found another annoying thing that I love to do, in addition to my addictive use of Q-tips. I find now, that I love to floss. Not the actual feeling of flossing, perse, but the sound that flossing makes. I know that it's kind of strange, but it's me.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A movie I've watched

Apologies, I have been terribly wrapped up in the goings on of the World Cup.

I have just watched, for the first time, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I have to say, I nearly cried. It was such a beautiful movie, never mind the oddity that is the actual premise of the movie. The movie's story, for those of you who have not heard of it, is that of a man who lives his life in reverse. He is born in the body of an old man and as time goes on, he grows younger until his death as a baby. He not only experiences things in reverse, but also in a completely different manner than everyone else. His first drink is as a man in his 80's along with his first time with a woman.
It really struck me that a man, even in his circumstances, could find love and make the best of the situations that he is in. Their love was intriguing in that, as one grew old, the other got younger. Two worlds and two lives criss-cross through time. I really enjoyed this movie, though I don't think I could watch it again.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

World Cup!!

The most exciting event in the worl is happening this summer (June 11 - July 11). Since it is my favourite sport and I am kind of a freak about it, I thought I'd post the schedule for anyone who wanted to watch.

Group A:
France, Mexico, Russia, Uruguay

Group B:
Argentina, Greece, Korea, Nigeria

Group C:
Algeria, England, Slovenia, United States

Group D:
Australia, Germany, Ghana, Serbia

Group E:
Camaroon, Denmark, Japan, Netherlands

Group F:
Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia

Group G:
Brazil, Cote D'Ivoire, North Korea, Portugal

Group H:
China, Honduras, Spain, Switzerland


All times listed are Eastern standard time. Schedules are subject to change.

The matches are listed in this format:

Date:
Time and Channel:
Competing Teams:
Group
Field Location
Match #


Friday June 11
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
South Africa vs. Mexico
A
Johannesburg
1

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Uruguay vs. France
A
Cape Town
2


Saturday June 12
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Korea Republic vs. Greece
B
Port Elizabeth
3

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Argentina vs. Nigeria
B
Johannesburg
4

2 PM - ABC
England vs. USA
C
Rustenburg
5

Sunday June 13
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Algeria vs. Slovenia
C
Polokwane
6


9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Serbia vs. Ghana
D
Pretoria
7


2 PM - ABC
Germany vs. Australia
D
Durban
8

Monday June 14
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Netherlands vs. Denmark
E
Johannesburg
9

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Japan vs. Cameroon
E
Bloemfontein
10

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Italy vs. Paraguay
F
Cape Town
11

Tuesday June 15
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
New Zealand vs. Slovakia
F
Rustenburg
12


9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ivory Coast vs. Portugal
G
Port Elizabeth
13


2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Brazil vs. Korea DPR
G
Johannesburg
14

Wednesday June 16
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Honduras vs. Chile
H
Nelspruit
15

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Spain vs. Switzerland
H
Durban
16

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
South Africa vs. Uruguay
A
Pretoria
17


Thursday June 17
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Argentina vs. Korea Rep.
B
Johannesburg
18

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Greece vs. Nigeria
B
Bloemfontein
19

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
France vs. Mexico
A
Polokwane
20

Friday June 18
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Germany vs. Serbia
D
Port Elizabeth
21

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovenia vs. USA
C
Johannesburg
22

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
England vs. Algeria
C
Cape Town
23

Saturday June 19
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Netherlands vs. Japan
E
Durban
24

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ghana vs. Australia
D
Rustenburg
25

2 PM - ABC
Cameroon vs. Denmark
E
Pretoria
26

Sunday June 20
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovakia vs. Paraguay
F
Bloemfontein
27

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Italy vs. New Zealand
F
Nelspruit
28

2 PM - ABC
Brazil vs. Ivory Coast
G
Johannesburg
29

Monday June 21
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Portugal vs. Korea DPR
G
Cape Town
30

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Chile vs. Switzerland
H
Port Elizabeth
31

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Spain vs. Honduras
H
Johannesburg
32

Tuesday June 22
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Mexico vs. Uruguay
A
Rustenburg
33

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
France vs. South AFridayca
A
Bloemfontein
34

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Nigeria vs. Korea Republic
B
Durban
35

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Greece vs. Argentina
B
Polokwane
36

Wednesday June 23
9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Slovenia vs. England
C
Port Elizabeth
37

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
USA vs. Algeria
C
Pretoria
38

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ghana vs. Germany
D
Johannesburg
39

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Australia vs. Serbia
D
Nelspruit
40

Thu June 24
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovakia vs. Italy
E
Johannesburg
41

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Paraguay vs. New Zealand
E
Polokwane
42

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Denmark vs. Japan
F
Rustenburg
43

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Cameroon vs. Netherlands
F
Cape Town
44

Friday June 25
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Portugal vs. Brazil
G
Durban
45

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Ivory Coast vs. Korea DPR
G
Nelspruit
46

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Chile vs. Spain
H
Pretoria
47

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Switzerland vs. Honduras
H
Bloemfontein
48
2nd Stage – Round of 16

Saturday June 26
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st A vs. 2nd B
Port Elizabeth
49

2 PM - ABC
1st C vs. 2nd D
Rustenburg
50

Sunday June 27
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st D vs. 2nd C
Bloemfontein
51

2 PM - ABC
1st B vs. 2nd A
Johannesburg
52

Monday June 28
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st E vs. 2nd F
Durban
53

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st G vs. 2nd H
Johannesburg
54

Tuesday June 29
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st F vs. 2nd E
Pretoria
55

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st H vs. 2nd G
Cape Town
56

2nd Stage -- Quarterfinals
Friday July 2
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners 53 vs. 54
A
Port Elizabeth
57

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners 49 vs. 50
B
Johannesburg
58

Saturday July 3
9:30 AM
ABC - Winners 52 vs. 51
C
Cape Town
59

2 PM
ABC - Winners 55 vs. 56
D
Johannesburg
60

2nd Stage -- Semifinals
Tuesday July 6
2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners A vs. C
Cape Town
61

Wednesday July 7
2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners B vs. D
Durban
62

Third Place Match
Saturday July 10
2 PM - ABC
Losers – 61 vs. 62
Port Elizabeth
63

2010 FIFA World Cup Title Match
Sunday July 11
1:30 PM
ABC
Winners – 61 vs. 62
Johannesburg
64The most exciting event on the world stage is happening this summer (June 11 - July 11) and I am SUPER excited about it. Football is the world's largest watched sport and happens to be my favourite. For that reason, I decided to put up the schedule for anyone who is curious and wants to watch. I'll be watching/recording all of them.

Group A:
France, Mexico, Russia, Uruguay

Group B:
Argentina, Greece, Korea, Nigeria

Group C:
Algeria, England, Slovenia, United States

Group D:
Australia, Germany, Ghana, Serbia

Group E:
Camaroon, Denmark, Japan, Netherlands

Group F:
Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia

Group G:
Brazil, Cote D'Ivoire, North Korea, Portugal

Group H:
China, Honduras, Spain, Switzerland


All times listed are Eastern standard time. Schedules are subject to change.

The matches are listed in this format:

Date:
Time and Channel:
Competing Teams:
Group
Field Location
Match #


Friday June 11
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
South Africa vs. Mexico
A
Johannesburg
1

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Uruguay vs. France
A
Cape Town
2


Saturday June 12
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Korea Republic vs. Greece
B
Port Elizabeth
3

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Argentina vs. Nigeria
B
Johannesburg
4

2 PM - ABC
England vs. USA
C
Rustenburg
5

Sunday June 13
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Algeria vs. Slovenia
C
Polokwane
6


9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Serbia vs. Ghana
D
Pretoria
7


2 PM - ABC
Germany vs. Australia
D
Durban
8

Monday June 14
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Netherlands vs. Denmark
E
Johannesburg
9

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Japan vs. Cameroon
E
Bloemfontein
10

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Italy vs. Paraguay
F
Cape Town
11

Tuesday June 15
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
New Zealand vs. Slovakia
F
Rustenburg
12


9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ivory Coast vs. Portugal
G
Port Elizabeth
13


2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Brazil vs. Korea DPR
G
Johannesburg
14

Wednesday June 16
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Honduras vs. Chile
H
Nelspruit
15

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Spain vs. Switzerland
H
Durban
16

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
South Africa vs. Uruguay
A
Pretoria
17


Thursday June 17
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Argentina vs. Korea Rep.
B
Johannesburg
18

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Greece vs. Nigeria
B
Bloemfontein
19

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
France vs. Mexico
A
Polokwane
20

Friday June 18
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Germany vs. Serbia
D
Port Elizabeth
21

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovenia vs. USA
C
Johannesburg
22

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
England vs. Algeria
C
Cape Town
23

Saturday June 19
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Netherlands vs. Japan
E
Durban
24

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ghana vs. Australia
D
Rustenburg
25

2 PM - ABC
Cameroon vs. Denmark
E
Pretoria
26

Sunday June 20
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovakia vs. Paraguay
F
Bloemfontein
27

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Italy vs. New Zealand
F
Nelspruit
28

2 PM - ABC
Brazil vs. Ivory Coast
G
Johannesburg
29

Monday June 21
7 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Portugal vs. Korea DPR
G
Cape Town
30

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Chile vs. Switzerland
H
Port Elizabeth
31

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Spain vs. Honduras
H
Johannesburg
32

Tuesday June 22
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Mexico vs. Uruguay
A
Rustenburg
33

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
France vs. South AFridayca
A
Bloemfontein
34

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Nigeria vs. Korea Republic
B
Durban
35

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Greece vs. Argentina
B
Polokwane
36

Wednesday June 23
9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Slovenia vs. England
C
Port Elizabeth
37

9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
USA vs. Algeria
C
Pretoria
38

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Ghana vs. Germany
D
Johannesburg
39

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Australia vs. Serbia
D
Nelspruit
40

Thu June 24
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Slovakia vs. Italy
E
Johannesburg
41

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Paraguay vs. New Zealand
E
Polokwane
42

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Denmark vs. Japan
F
Rustenburg
43

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Cameroon vs. Netherlands
F
Cape Town
44

Friday June 25
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Portugal vs. Brazil
G
Durban
45

9:30 AM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Ivory Coast vs. Korea DPR
G
Nelspruit
46

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Chile vs. Spain
H
Pretoria
47

2 PM - ESPN2/ESPN360.com
Switzerland vs. Honduras
H
Bloemfontein
48
2nd Stage – Round of 16

Saturday June 26
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st A vs. 2nd B
Port Elizabeth
49

2 PM - ABC
1st C vs. 2nd D
Rustenburg
50

Sunday June 27
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st D vs. 2nd C
Bloemfontein
51

2 PM - ABC
1st B vs. 2nd A
Johannesburg
52

Monday June 28
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st E vs. 2nd F
Durban
53

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st G vs. 2nd H
Johannesburg
54

Tuesday June 29
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st F vs. 2nd E
Pretoria
55

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
1st H vs. 2nd G
Cape Town
56

2nd Stage -- Quarterfinals
Friday July 2
9:30 AM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners 53 vs. 54
A
Port Elizabeth
57

2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners 49 vs. 50
B
Johannesburg
58

Saturday July 3
9:30 AM
ABC - Winners 52 vs. 51
C
Cape Town
59

2 PM
ABC - Winners 55 vs. 56
D
Johannesburg
60

2nd Stage -- Semifinals
Tuesday July 6
2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners A vs. C
Cape Town
61

Wednesday July 7
2 PM - ESPN/ESPN360.com
Winners B vs. D
Durban
62

Third Place Match
Saturday July 10
2 PM - ABC
Losers – 61 vs. 62
Port Elizabeth
63

2010 FIFA World Cup Title Match
Sunday July 11
1:30 PM
ABC
Winners – 61 vs. 62
Johannesburg
64

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Running

Okay so here's the deal.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being called "big guy" as in, "Hey there big guy, how ya doing?" or things like it. I'm tired of everything that comes along with being 'larger' than average. I don't want to be a supermodel. I just want to be in shape. Not only for those reasons but I firmly believe that my body is a temple. I want to take care of my body. Eating right, exercising. 1 Corinthians says: "19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." And so I intend to.

What has happened now is that this blog is turning into a running/workout journal. I want to keep track of the progress that I've made. It's not about calories lost or weight lost. It's about distance run and the way that I feel.

So with that in mind, this past week, I have been running. I've been running til my heart felt like it would explode. Mostly about time run and at what pace than about the actual distance. Well, to be honest, it was about distance at first. But it turned into what it is now. At first I was just focused on losing weight and running miles. But that turned into training. Last week I worked my way up to a solid 10 - 13 minute run. at around 5.5 mph. That was admirable for then. I have since discovered that my body can do more if I just ask it to. So this week I have gone to two-a-days and decided to up my tempo. THIS is what has got me frustrated. at the slower tempo, I can run for 18-22 minutes. But coming to this higher tempo of 6.5-7, I cannot. It's terribly frustrating. I don't think that my body is ready for that kind of run just yet. But I will keep pushing because I know that I can do it. Well, the main problem is really my asthma and not my body. This damn disease has limited me in so many situations and I'm ready for it to be gone. I can't really take this anymore.
We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Rock Climbing and Renewed Friendships

Well, this past weekend I crossed off couple of big things off of my life list and I was terribly excited about it.
Numbers 29 and 33 were both crossed off this weekend when I got the opportunity to join one of my old friends. In case you missed it, 29 on my life list is going rock climbing for real and 33 is to go hiking and camping. So, now that we're all caught up. I got the change to go up to Summersville , West Virginia where Sarah and a bunch of her friends. It was, admittedly, a great time, although not quite what I expected.

When I say not what I expected, I mean it. Since I am new to climbing and have only been climbing in an enclosed gym wall, I was not aware of all of the big productions that go along with climbing outdoors. We would wake up at the crack of dawn and then get into the car and head off to a parking lot. Now, this parking lot was not really connected to anything. It was just a parking lot in the middle of nowhere. We then hiked, on average, 2 miles up and down hills to the base of the walls. When I say hills, I really mean mountains. We hiked up and down mountains for 2 miles. Out. Of. Control. All of that just to get to the climbing spot. By that point, my legs were wrecked but I was still eager to climb.

As it turns out, climbing outdoors is much different from climbing in a gym. Some people like it. Some people don't. The jury is still out on me. It's better because you can put your hands anywhere on the face instead of following a set route. But that also makes it harder for a new climber like myself. You can't always see the holds that you want. But all-in-all, it was tons of fun. I got to make new friends and reconnect with old ones.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I am a bad person. Aren't the moral lessons that guide society supposed to be learned as a child and stick with up for the rest of our lives? Isn't that what is supposed to happen?

Perhaps I missed the lessons that were supposed to keep this behavior in check. If there is such a thing as Kharma, I am sure that I deserve a nasty dose of it. But perhaps, I do not, for I have put out lots of good vibes by doing "good" things.

Who knows. For now, I'll just live my life and see what happens.

Akil

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thoughts May 25

Here I sit with my music, computer and my thoughts. I can't say that I'm a terribly interesting person, however, I can not seem to find the means to get what I have in my head out onto paper (or in this case, internet). At present, I cannot even remember what I sat down here to write about in the first place.

So let's just start with whatever comes to mind. Real Life is all around me, threatening to consume me like a wave of responsibility. My friends are getting married and having children. Friends that I have spent 4 years with, and some that I have spent less time with. All make me feel like I need to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. But what am I trying to do? I'm running away to China. heh. I'm trying to escape the thralls of servitude to that hydra of responsibility by running off to Asia to teach English to Chinese teachers. What a coward I am.

I'm a flake and my friends know it. Recently I have gotten really into climbing and when I expressed my excitement at my newfound activity, my friends simply said that they were happy for me and that they, "hoped it lasts". Do I flit from thing to thing without any regard. If so, who can I attribute this trait to? Was it passed down through patriarchal lineage, matriarchal, or is it something that I developed over time? If the latter, how, when, where did I come upon the propensity to be such a flake? At any rate, here I am, engrossed with the sport...for now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Who am I? What is it that makes up my personality? I enjoy many things, but I cannot say that I am good at any ONE of them. Does that come from my flakiness? Is it impossible for me to devote the time to master any one thing? I could list things for you. But it is likely that I would forget most of the things that I enjoy simply due to the vastness of the list.

Shit, let's start now...

Things that I enjoy:
Music of all kinds
Playing Guitar, Saxophone, Clarinet
Outdoor Sports: running, mountain biking, rock climbing, swimming, volleyball
Golf
Soccer
Computers
Cooking
Shopping: Polo, Burberry, Armani, D&G,
Reading
Writing for pleasure
Languages
Cultures
Travel
Solitude
Problem-solving
Chess
Yoga
Exercise
Observing people
...

This broad list seems to cover things that I have enjoy. Some things I have been doing for years. Some, I've only engaged in for months and others for less than that. Oh well, this is me. I embrace it. I enjoy all aspects of life and neither could nor would I live it any differently.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Lessons

How much does it take for one person to stop being the way that he has always been and become better? Being back in America, I have fallen back into my old ways. (Driving less than a block away for something, consuming tons of energy for no specific purpose, speeding, and most detrimental, fast food.)
I want to change. I just feel like my environment is a contributing factor to me not changing at all.
I got another speeding ticket yesterday. I felt that I did not deserve this one. The state trooper, however, did not agree. So what am I to do? By the time the court date comes around I hope to have left the country but we'll see how that all comes together.

Stay true to yourself

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life List #29: Rock Climbing

Today, I have successfully completed number 29 on my Bucket list: To go rock climbing, for real. It was a good day. I can honestly say that I have been rock climbing (top roping, and bouldering) and I am hooked! It was such a rush, climbing up a rock after falling scores of times. The top roping wasn't something that I was particularly worried about, as I had done some climbing on on some of the tracks. It was more the bouldering that I feared and truly did prove the most difficult for me personally.
Now, after my first session, after blisters and painful fingers, and after sore forearms and an assortment of other muscles, I have made it to the top of my first boulder on two separate paths(called problems). It was such a good feeling to hang on to the top of the boulder, looking down at everyone around and then letting myself drift through the air back to the surface. I live for the summit. The only think that I can think about is when I'm going to go next.

Woot, Number 29, done. And another obsession has been fostered.